Obsession Isn't Pretty

Everyone knows that Nicky has OCD. It's no secret in my family that there are other Norrises with OCD. Since I don't tend to advertise much of what goes on in my head, it is probably less well known that I have huge problems with obsessive tendencies. I thought of a perfect example to illustrate that point because I am going through it right now. It is so trivial - so completely and totally pointless, first world problem, fixable, and irrelevant that it's ridiculous. But that's the point. When someone has this problem, none of that matters. My dad tells me that I just have to discipline myself not to think about such things. I know he's right, and that's a major reason I don't want to advertise my weaknesses like this. Obsessing is a self-indulgence and I should just choose not to do it. The funny thing is that when someone else has this issue, I recognize that it is (for the most part - I am kind of unyielding sometimes, I have to be honest) a genuine brain malfunction and I don't judge. I don't tolerate it in myself, though. I don't cut myself any slack. In fact, I tend to obsess over how incredibly weak I am. There's a victim loop in here somewhere.

I digress. The issue is foundation. Mac foundation. I was in Macy's yesterday. I was originally going to buy Kat Von D's Lock-It Tattoo Foundation at Sephora with my 15% off coupon.

I mean, this stuff covered the freckles on my hand! It's awesome and you use only a tiny bit. However, Sephora was out of all of the lighter colors. Of course. Hence, my trek to Macy's. Now, I love Mac lipstick. I'm all over Mac dupes for colors. I love drugstore makeup. There is something about Mac's formula, though. You can dupe some of the colors, but you can't (as far as I can tell) dupe the formula of the Satin or the Amplified. The Cremesheens aren't that unique for me. And you *can't* dupe that lovely smell! In any case, I have never been officially "colored" by a Mac MUA. Since I did want a new foundation (another part of that obsession - I came for foundation, I was leaving with foundation), I decided today was a good day. Plus, Henry had put some money in his wallet from our Christmas stash for just this purpose. 

I was assisted by a very lovely woman who made me take off my makeup (of course I knew I'd have to, but to have my very bad rosacea breakout exposed in public - sigh. Besides, my makeup looked awesome yesterday. Seriously.) and then proceeded to start me at an NW20 in Studio Sculpt. Ah, no. I looked like Data from Star Trek. I kid you not. She switched to Pro Longwear (with yellow Prep and Prime CC first - did a great job covering the red, so I bought it. It takes far less of that than it does of my regular concealer.) in NW20. It made me look kind of...dead. Then she blew my mind when she told me that I am not NW. She told me I am NC - NC15, to be exact. She got the opinion of another MUA (side note: I really hate having to explain to my kids that yes, that man doing that woman's makeup *is* a man, despite his gorgeous makeup and super-long lashes and beautiful figure. Sigh.) who confirmed that it was a great match. Now I have read a ton on the whole NC and NW thing (like it's better to think of NC as *not cool* and NW as *not warm* rather than thinking of NW as for pink undertones and NC as for golden undertones, because, child, I am telling you that I am pink, pink, pink). As I think about it, it makes sense that I would use a more golden foundation to neutralize my pink ol' face...still. I am not convinced. I compared my new NC15 Pro Longwear to all of my other foundations and it is soooo much darker. I'll have to do my makeup today and see what I think.

So, my mini-Mac haul looks like this (pics from Mac's website):

That lovely lipstick would be Brick-O-La, the prettiest Amplified Berry shade. Soooo springy...

So what does this very shallow makeup post have to do with anything? Simply this: wondering if that silly foundation shade is the right one for me kept me awake last night. How stupid is that? Do you know how easy that is to fix? If I don't like it, I can drive my little self on back to Macy's, hand it to the ladies (er, ladies and...man?) at Mac and say, "Wrong color for me, I'd like my money back." My money would be back in my hot little hands before I could say Boo. That's how they roll at Mac. The thing is, when you have this...thing (obsessive personality whatever-it-is), IT DOESN'T MATTER! Reason flies out the door. It doesn't matter that it is STUPID and it is JUST MAKEUP and IT CAN BE FIXED! (please forgive me - I'm yelling at myself, not you). 

So, a rare glimpse into my shallow mind. Know what I'm thinking now? I have just spent an hour on this blog post when I have *real* work to do. Not only is my house a mess, but I have two reviews to write and edHelper work to do (have I told you about my boss? The way I describe him is that he's awesome: he's all winky smileys in his emails...until he's not.), and now I have wasted a good hour. Plus I'm on a Treximet hangover (but thank the good God my headache is gone). So, I'll be castigating myself over the lost hour for the rest of the day. That might take my mind off the foundation, but the thing is - I'm really good at thinking about many things at one time...

Sometimes I wear myself out. Okay, I wear myself out all the time. I would say please don't judge me - but, actually, feel free. I judge me. If, however, you have an obsessive person in your life, try not to judge them too harshly. I promise you - they hate the way they are. They want to change, and odds are decent that they try VERY hard to do so, especially when other people are watching. They are wearing themselves out. Be kind to your obsessive.