Saturday, March 10, 2018

When It Rains...



...yeah, everyone knows how that one finishes. Mary-Catherine and I have just had one of those weeks. For starters, I found out that a decision I made was so completely the wrong one that it could have been disastrous. By the grace of God, it wasn't, but it could have been. Now I'm sitting on a similar decision and just praying that it will turn out okay.

The day after I was dealing with those issues, Henry, Mc, and I were out doing errands having a very nice time preparing Mc for her shooting competition today when we came to a known dangerous intersection. We passed through it and saw a bad situation building. I had my eyes forward, but Henry, watching in the rear view mirror, saw what happened next when a motorcyclist, trying to avoid becoming involved in an accident, jumped the median and laid down his bike while he rolled over and over before ending up face down in the street unmoving. Henry has some EMT training, so he immediately pulled over and was first over to the man. I yelled at Mc not to look. She immediately started crying and praying. I stayed with her while Henry and a few others rendered aid and I called 911. Mc and I didn't know, but the man was only unconscious. Henry knew right away that he wasn't dead because he was snoring. We had no way of knowing that, though. It was awful. Henry stayed while the ambulance, fire engine, and police came. He gave a statement to the police to describe what happened. The officer called him later to tell him that he had seen the man in the hospital and that he was going to be fine. Praise God.

Mc is shooting this morning without a coach, although an older shooter is assisting her, so she's been a nervous basket case anyway, but her anxiety has been off the charts. None of this helps. I've been dealing with so many other things, too. A close family member is very ill, a closer family member is a different kind of ill, and I feel guilty for being so beaten down because, overall, we are so unbelievably blessed. Everything could be so, so much worse.

Is anyone else guilty of playing the, "If only I can get through the next big thing, everything will begin to look up" game? That's definitely me, but it's such a fallacious approach. All of life is about the next big thing. There will always be a next big thing. *Life* is the next big thing. When you get through it, you're dead. I need to find a new perspective. If you have one that works for you when you're feeling overwhelmed or beaten down, I'd love to hear it. I also get in this pattern where I know that knitting (for example) makes me feel better when I'm down, but I'm too down to knit. It's so ridiculous. A big part of me just wants to slap myself and tell myself to grow up. If life were easy, everyone would be doing it. Er, wait a minute. That went terribly wrong somewhere...

2 comments:

  1. The only thing that helps me is thinking about how much worse so many others have it. Not a nice thing to say amidst your depression, but it genuinely does help me.

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    1. I agree. I often try to remind myself of the modern day parable where a man asks Jesus to take away his cross because he just feels like he can't manage it any more. Christ says to him, "I can take your cross from you, but you must choose another in it's place." The man readily agrees, thinking he will find the smallest, lightest one he can. Jesus then leads him to a large room where there are more crosses than the man could possibly count, and all were towering pieces that loomed over him. After searching for what seemed an eternity, the man finally found a small cross buried behind several much larger examples. He embraces it, and clutching it to his chest he turns to the Lord and says that he had at last found a cross that he could bear the burden of carrying it. The Lord smiled at him and said, "My son, this is the cross that you so recently discarded. Now you see that there are many burdens, but I have given you one that I know will not crush you. It will still become heavy at times, but all you need do is ask for My help and I will give it to you."

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