Year End Thoughts

I don't make New Year's Resolutions (I used to joke that I make New Year's Revolutions). It is hard to escape that feeling that the New Year brings, though - the built-in opportunity for new beginnings and for change (although actually, for Catholics, that opportunity really comes at the beginning of Advent - the Catholic New Year). Just a few random thoughts to close out the year.

1. It's now been two years since my best friend ended our friendship. It's getting easier, although I still think of things I wish I could tell him every day.

2. I am so proud of all of my kids. Therese (15) was diagnosed with EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome), she has faced (for lack of a better word) discrimination because of her illness, and she is consistently overlooked (as far as being publicly recognized for her talents). Through it all, she has displayed so much maturity and grace. She talks me off a ledge when I get angry on her behalf. She looks to the long term and realizes that so much of the day-to-day garbage is just that. Nicholas (13) has matured this year and has continued to gain mastery over his OCD. He has found talents he didn't know he had in 4-H fishing and shooting. At least now when he gives us "the business," he's man enough to admit he knew he was doing it later (most some of the time). He is becoming a very enjoyable young man. Mary-Catherine (12) is so indescribable. She is funny and sassy and smart (but still so daffy). She is compassionate and is always exactly what I need her to be when I need her to be it. She is also a menace with a BB gun! Michael (12) makes me laugh every day, too. He does voices and faces and is a major clown. He is incredibly thoughtful. He is most like me in that he struggles with his temper, and that just makes me feel even closer to him. If I could only convince my kids now, while they are young, that nothing good will come of losing their tempers. If I could only convince myself! I am very blessed in my kids. I will confess that I fantasize about being alone, but when I am (very rarely), I start missing them almost immediately.

3. I have personal goals for the New Year. Like everyone else, I want to work out more. Like Therese, I have EDS, and that will come back to bite me more and more as I get older. I really need to be in shape. The catch-22 is that I have migraines every other day lately. It is very hard to do anything physical when your head is in agony. Still. Why are we saving for retirement so stringently if we will be too enfeebled to enjoy it? So health is a huge 2017 goal. I have work goals, too. I have a website. Now it just needs content. I want to migrate my blog there. I just need time! Maybe I need fiverr...

4. I am not looking forward to tournament season (which starts in one week). Last year was special because Therese had a really special partnership. I like her partner this year a lot, too, but it's different. I don't do different all that well. I dislike change with everything in me.

5. To end my random thoughts - if you are one of the people with whom I keep in touch solely (or nearly so) through this blog - thank you for keeping up with me like this. I probably owe you an email, and I'm sorry. Know that I do think about you and I am grateful for your friendship. I am grateful for everyone who reads. And if you read the blog for my reviews, rest assured: they will be returning in a couple of months!

Happy New Year! I wish you every blessing and good health in 2017.